Sorry for only spoonfeeding you one game last week (of course it was a win). I've got several spectacular plays this week.
Sorry about Brock "Unlock" Robbins. I heard he was a stinky turd, but that doesn't begin to describe it. His picks have been funnier than when the Maddog has worms and drags his ass on the carpet. Here's a tip for those who've been burned by Brock: Keep listening to your Uncle Sneak, and scratch your favorite pooch Maddog on the head after he gives you another winner. The Maddog does nothing but bark up knowledge... and old tin cans he ate in the backyard. I'd disregard Brock until he gets his ugly head out of his stinky ass.
For the first time in the history of Sneak Koohns' Easy Money, we have two contributors at eachother's throats. After Brock's last "Lock" was posted, Maddog made this statement:
"Ol' baby Lock is gonna run his mouth? Just as his all-time record climbs to 0-1? I guess he's the type to do that. Unsuccessful in everything, and still throwing up confidence all over his own shirt. Hey Ol' Brock Lock Cock in his Mouth Robbins, try getting one win. One measly win, before the next time you start slobbering out your nonsense. My overall record speaks for itself, and apparently, so does yours. You shoulda let this sleepin' dog lie Brock. You dogged me once, and now you're getting your nose rubbed in it. Dog me twice and your ass gets bit. Three times??? Shit, you're burried in the bone yard. LOCK IT UP!"
Sneak Koohns has tried to contact both Maddog and Lock for further comments. Both parties have not returned calls.
While Maddog is getting a muzzle slapped on him, and Lock is being picked, Sneak is creeping around to another AMAZING week! 4-0 last week, and a gaudy 19-6-1 record this season. Just look at what I have to offer: great looks, killer style, and the mind of a scientist to match.
Oklahoma (-3) @ Missouri
More to come. I just wanted to lay the OU bet before the line slides.
Another amazing week from Sneak. 15-6-1 this season, are you kidding me? The best handicappers in the world would be jealous of me. Only one losing week the entire season. Jump on board, and lay these picks blindly, because Uncle Sneak has done the thinking for you.
Pittsburgh (+1) @ Syracuse
Oregon St (+1.5) @ Washington
Missouri (+3) @ Texas A&M
Kansas St (-2.5) @ Kansas
(I dropped the Pitt bet Monday, and of course I got great value. I believe the line is now Pitt (-1))
I didn't have a great week last week. So what? I'm still better than you. To prove it, I've got some extra sneaky picks this week. Lay them at $35.00 apiece and thank me later. Don't forget to wag the Maddog. He's been hot lately. Good thing ole Uncle Sneak slapped a colar on that pooch and housebroke the mangy mutt.
Another week, another huge payday for Sneak's loyal following. Don't be one of the dumb bastards that isn't cashing in with your weird Uncle Sneak. Even that ole' coonhound Maddog hit his upset pick of the week. Just when you thought he was rollin' over to play dead, he fetches you a pretty lil upset, and rubs YOUR nose in it. Good dog. Just lay the following, and buy me something nice later. You're welcome.
Damn you're dumb. Last week I told you that I'm smarter than you. Some took my advice, others proved my point, and didn't. Those who disobeyed went running with their tails between their legs to Maddog. Well how did that work out for you losers? I guess what they say is true, you can't teach an old dog new tricks.
Don't compound your mistake. Here's another genius move for you idiots to follow. Lay it, and lay it heavy.
The Tourney and a Crazy Race
Yes I understand it has been a while but with work picking up I find it
hard to write all the time. I also made the "wise" decision to join a race
7 years ago
"Do your gambling picks reek? It's winners you seek? It's time once again for your weekly Sneak peek."
Sneak Koohns here. Sports gambling genius and enthusiast. Are you losing TOO much money gambling? Are your gambling picks leaving you feeling dumb, and driving you CRAZY? Do your bets leave you broke, without enough money to pay for food, rent, and beer? Think there's no answer? You're SO stupid! There is! Sneak Koohns' Easy Money. Finally there's an easy way to make money, and have fun at the same time!
Feel free to click around the site. Make sure to throw Maddog Matt a bone, and check out his "Upset Pick of the Week". If you like what you see, scratch the ole flea-ridden mongrel behind the ears. You'll be glad you did! But be careful, he bites.
So remember, following my simple picks will leave you filthy rich. The only thing filthier is the Maddog. But in his defense, he has mange, worms, rabies...and a REAL bad case of the canine A.I.D.S..
Maddog Matt's Upset of the Week
"I'll give you my "dog" of the week. No bones about it!"
Lucky bastards...you stumbled upon Maddog Matt's Upset of the Week. I scour through the betting world and find Vegas slip ups where the wrong team is getting the points...get the point?
Maddog is back after an offseason of diggin' bones, and chasin' tail. One year smarter, and 7 years older, this ole' hound is back, and ready to give you the upset pick of the week. The pick that will take you from half dead to purebread. From mutt to strutt. From spade to paid. To win big, you've gotta take some chances, so don't be a bitch.
St. Louis (+6, +$220) @ San Francisco
I expect a tough, yet exciting game. I really like this young Rams team. Especially their young quarterback, Sam “Pure Bread” Bradford. San Fran’s defense, believed early in the season to be one of the best in the NFL, has been below average this year. They've been especially bad against the pass. Meanwhile, their offense cant find any rhythm, even with some serious weapons in Crabtree and Gore. Troy Smith gets the start this week at QB for the '9ers, and I don’t think that encourages offensive production at all. The guy went to OSU for god's sake. Look for Bradford to have one of his better days passing against the NFL’s 20th ranked passing defense. Stephen "Saint Bernard" Jackson will keep the '9ers honest, and open up some down field looks. Even with Frank Gore, one of the top backs in the league, the 49ers are just 21st in rushing, averaging a sneak-like 98 ypg. The Rams mediocre defense should stop the 49ers, and come out on top of the dog pile when its all said and bone, as they continue to fight for their first division championship in seven years (yes, they won it in 2003. I was surprised too). Rams 21, 49ers 17.